Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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