Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Randomize
