i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
