Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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