ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
