they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
