i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
