Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
