Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
