thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
