How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
