Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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