I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
