Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I think i got beer on your cat.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
