I want you more than these girls want KFC
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
