Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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