you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
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drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
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I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize