Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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