Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.