Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
