We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
