margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
