i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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