he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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