I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize