Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Randomize