Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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