I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize