I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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