i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I bet he comes in French.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
