I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
