that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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