I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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