3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
