You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
