Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
