I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I party with great urgency now.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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