i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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