I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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