Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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