I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
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