hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
