Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I just want to make out with him forever
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
