oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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