Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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