We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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