I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Don't tell me you're on acid again
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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