Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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