I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
