Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
He felt like a one man threesome
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I will be naked everywhere
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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