East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You ruined the universe
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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