Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
