I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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