I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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