i just google imaged poop.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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