I got chris browned last night
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
