Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize