my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
