who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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