Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
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