guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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