we're making bets on your personal life
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
