So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
it hurts more in the daytime
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
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Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
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This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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